Navigating Emotional Changes in 7-Year-Olds

Over the last few months, we’ve noticed some big changes in Eloise’s behaviour. She’s seven now, and while we knew this age would bring new emotions and challenges, her sudden bursts of annoyance, moments of anger, raised voice, and even the occasional throwing or punching have taken us by surprise. If you’re seeing similar behaviour with your child, know that it’s all part of their growth. Children around this age go through significant brain and emotional changes, and while it’s natural, understanding these shifts can help us guide them through it.

Why Do These Changes Happen?

As children between 7 and 12 grow, their brains develop rapidly, especially in areas responsible for emotion regulation, reasoning, and self-control. Around this age, they begin to understand more complex feelings but may struggle to express them in a balanced way, leading to frustration or outbursts. Here are some key factors behind these changes:

• Prefrontal Cortex Development: This part of the brain is responsible for decision-making and impulse control but is still developing. This can make it harder for children to manage their emotions when they’re frustrated or upset.
• Hormonal Changes: While it’s not full-blown puberty, children experience subtle hormonal shifts that can impact mood.
• Growing Independence: Children start forming their identities and want more autonomy, which can sometimes clash with the structure and rules we set for them.
• Understanding Complex Emotions: They start to experience more complex emotions, such as embarrassment or jealousy, which can be confusing and overwhelming.

How Can We Support Them?

As Eloise navigates these changes, we’re trying a few strategies to help her (and ourselves!) manage emotions constructively. Here are some supportive approaches that can be helpful for any family going through this stage:

1. Acknowledge Their Feelings: Validating what they’re feeling is so important. We often say to Eloise, “I understand you’re upset. Can you tell me why?” This opens up the conversation and helps her feel heard.
2. Model Emotional Regulation: Children mimic what they see. So, if I’m feeling frustrated or stressed, I make a point of using calming strategies, like deep breathing or taking a break, and openly explaining that I’m using them.
3. Use Relaxation Techniques Together: We found two great videos on YouTube that teach children about emotional regulation in a way they can understand (here’s one and another). Watching them together gives us shared language and tools we can practice as a family.
4. Daily Check-Ins: Taking a few minutes at the end of each day to check in helps children process their day and can reduce bottled-up feelings.
5. Encourage Physical Outlets for Energy: Physical activities, like sports, dancing, or even a simple game of tag, can help children work out any pent-up frustration or energy in a healthy way.
6. Focus on Problem-Solving: Instead of just saying, “No, you can’t do that,” try working together on an alternative. For example, if Eloise is angry, I might say, “How about we take three deep breaths together, then talk about what’s bothering you?”
7. Maintain Consistency: Keeping routines and expectations consistent provides them with stability, which can help lessen anxiety and frustration.

Learning and Growing Together

I told Eloise, “Let’s learn this together,” and we’ve been watching the videos and practising these tips as a team. She sees that we’re both in it together, which helps normalise the idea of learning to handle emotions and reminds her that it’s a lifelong skill.

Your Experiences Matter

Are you experiencing similar challenges with your child? I’d love to hear about any tips or strategies that have worked for you. Drop a comment, and let’s support each other in navigating these changes. We’re all learning together, and every bit of advice can make a difference!