“Maybe it’s just me, maybe, I am just too emotional… ” This is what I often say to myself when I feel blue.
Before I ramble on about my personal experience with a not so supportive partner, here are a few qualities I believe make a good partner.
- Listening – they listen to your concerns and even encourage you to share your thoughts. Letting you know that they are there for you.
- Participation – they participate in all your pregnancy activities ( at least the ones they can ) such as antenatal classes, birthing courses, parenting events, maternity photo shoots, exercise, etc.
- Helpful – they take on domestic responsibilities so you can rest, or even better, treat you to a relaxing massage or two!
- Engaged – they are engaged in everything baby related. Whether it’s going baby shopping with you or decorating the nursery. An engaged partner will make mum-to-be feel so much more confident.
- Understanding – they understand the aches and pains, the hormonal changes and the mood swings on top of everything else. Heck, they even remind you how beautiful you are even with all the baby weight!
See the links below for more information and advice.
Hre’s what inspired me to write this post.
Every scan I go to, I see other pregnant ladies with their significant others, or at least a friend or two. The occasions where you see another pregnant lady without support has been rare. Unfortunately for me, I don’t have any friends in this city I now call home. The only friend I know of is my husband. I understand that he has a busy work life and it is not easy to attend all the scans, obstetrician and midwife appointments. I also understand that his personality isn’t the type that would give me a massage when my back is just too painful to bear. And it’s okay. I have learned to live with it. Rather, I am learning to live with it. I knew right at the beginning of this pregnancy, he will not make it for the birth, so not attending the birthing course or maternity photo shoot makes no difference.
Even after learning to live with it, does it stop hurting my feelings? No. It does not, feeling lonely and depressed is not something we want to feel when there’s a human being growing inside us. Or any other time for that matter. So what do you do? Talk, try talking to your partner and explaining how you feel. If they aren’t the kind that likes to talk, share the links below with them and maybe one to my post. If all else fails, try taking on a new hobby as a way of distracting yourself. I have a few more weeks to go and the only thing I try my darndest to focus on is the baby and her health.
Have you been feeling the blues during pregnancy? Do you feel alone? Feel free to contact me and share your stories.