To the girl I never thought I’d have
For every day before you, I was lost
A body without a soul
A mind without sense
I was… alone
Sure, I had friends and family
And those who loved me
But no one could fill that void
I had deep inside me
For years, I struggled
I contemplated life as a whole
The amount of time I tried
To knock on heaven’s door
I didn’t think it was possible anymore
I didn’t think it would happen
What’s one more try before I give up?
That’s what I told myself
Then one day, it worked
It happened and you were on your way
It took me six months to believe it
Before then, I thought I was dreaming
On the day you finally arrived
It felt like I had won the lottery
It felt like all my dreams had come true
It was unreal
As days went by I got scared
I started doubting myself
What if I wasn’t cut out to be a mum?
What if I fail?
It took me a while to realise this was normal
Most women feel this way after birth
I look back now and feel proud
For I made it through
I carried you
I gave birth to you
I held you
And I fed you
I did it.
Thank you for coming into my life
Even on the toughest of days
I look at you and I see
The reason for me to breathe
I love every moment we share
For with every minute you grow
You change and you develop
You get older
From that tiny baby that grasped my finger
Held her head up and rolled over
Crawled around and walked
They are my precious memories And we will have more
I don’t want to miss on a single moment
I want to be there when you fall
I want to be there when you get back up
And cheer you on
There are and will be people who love you
Who will give their life for you
But none will love you the way I do
Not in a million years
Bonita Bennett 