A poem to my daughter

To the girl I never thought I’d have

For every day before you, I was lost

A body without a soul

A mind without sense

I was… alone

Sure, I had friends and family

And those who loved me

But no one could fill that void

I had deep inside me

For years, I struggled

I contemplated life as a whole

The amount of time I tried

To knock on heaven’s door

I didn’t think it was possible anymore

I didn’t think it would happen

What’s one more try before I give up?

That’s what I told myself

Then one day, it worked

It happened and you were on your way

It took me six months to believe it

Before then, I thought I was dreaming

On the day you finally arrived

It felt like I had won the lottery

It felt like all my dreams had come true

It was unreal

As days went by I got scared

I started doubting myself

What if I wasn’t cut out to be a mum?

What if I fail?

It took me a while to realise this was normal

Most women feel this way after birth

I look back now and feel proud

For I made it through

I carried you

I gave birth to you

I held you

And I fed you

I did it.

Thank you for coming into my life

Even on the toughest of days

I look at you and I see

The reason for me to breathe

I love every moment we share

For with every minute you grow

You change and you develop

You get older

From that tiny baby that grasped my finger

Held her head up and rolled over

Crawled around and walked

They are my precious memories And we will have more

I don’t want to miss on a single moment

I want to be there when you fall

I want to be there when you get back up

And cheer you on

There are and will be people who love you

Who will give their life for you

But none will love you the way I do

Not in a million years

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