Okay, so there you are, overjoyed that you are about to be parents and share the good news with everyone. Yay! As well as your awesome and cool friends being their usual amazing selves, you may come across some that you just want to punch in the face! Yes, I just said that, punch in the face! 🤛 why? Well here are some reasons why we felt like flipping the table over!
1. “Get ready to never be able to go on holidays again! At least not until they are about 8 years old.” Wait, let me take a deep breath before I explain this. *inserts deep yogi breath here* are you kidding me? Does having a baby automatically make your life stuck inside your house forever? When asked to explain, this friend felt necessary to tell me how we will never have time to enjoy life again because we have a baby on the way. WHAT? Of course, that may be the case for some, but not everyone! I know some amazing parents that have been travelling the world since their child was 6 months old! Of course they did all their research before embarking on holidays with the little one, but to say that having children equals to ‘goodbye holidays’ is ludacris!
2. “You’ll stay awake all night with the baby. Are you ready for that? ” No, I just blindly walked into parenthood. I thought the little minions slept through the night and only ate when I felt like feeding them and pooped on command. Firstly, not all babies have difficultly adjusting, some are great sleepers and there are some that are not. Some may have medical reasons why they are struggling with sleep patterns, some may just be finding it hard to settle into their new environment, the list of reasons is endless here. Is it necessary to pass on negative comments of parenthood to new parents? No! Absolutely not.
3. “Say goodbye to your social life.” Most parents to be have a good support network that is ready to help when needed. This network includes friends and family happy to offer childcare for an evening out with your partner or just a few friends. Yes, it will take a long time before I feel comfortable enough to leave the house without baby, but you know what? I think over time, my husband and I will manage just fine. I wouldn’t stop my husband from having a night away from us to recharge his batteries every few weeks and he wouldn’t stop me either. Plus, there are lots of places you can go with your baby.
4. “I’ll remind you of that after your baby is here. You’ll eat your words.” Doesn’t matter who this comes from, it really blows a fuse in my head. It’s like I can’t say anything without having that one particular person tell me how they will remind me of my words. Thanks for offering to be my personal reminder service, I have a thing called an iPhone that does a pretty good job of setting off reminders. This often happens when we discuss our parenting styles with someone. In the eyes of the person who says this to us, letting your child be who they want to be isn’t right. And by us letting the child be whoever they want to be in life, they immediately think we’ll let them walk into hell because that’s what our child wants to do. No mate, anyone with half a brain cell will teach their child the Pro’s and Con’s of any choice they make. Just because we want our child to be independent, doesn’t mean we will let them be a drug addict or a prostitute! Parenting walks hand in hand with teaching, this includes the good, the bad and the ugly. Stop assuming my child will be a monster before they have a chance to breath!
5. “I bet you’ll spoil them rotten!” *clears throat* Because we waited years before welcoming a child, doesn’t automatically mean we will not have discipline in the house. It doesn’t mean we will give into everything the child wants. As many parents before us, we will do our best to give our children better lives than what we had, and that’s totally normal. Please don’t start thinking we will automatically be bringing a brat into this world…
Although the list is much longer than what I am sharing with you, these five points really drive me off the wall. The best advice I have heard is from a friend with 3 children. “Don’t listen to other parents, do what you feel is best for your child. Every parent and child is different and so are the experiences of parenting.” And that my friend, are the best words to say to a new parent. Let them start their journey on a positive note, instead of all the negativity that will be showered on them for no reason.
Spread love, not hate.
Bonita Bennett 