Reality of Breastfeeding

“Are you planning on breastfeeding?” 

“Have you started leaking yet?”

“You may not be able to breastfeed, not everyone can”

“Formula isn’t as bad as it sounds” 

These are some of words I have heard so far, words that have stuck in my head. At 35 weeks pregnant, I have been encouraged by midwives and specialist consultants to start storing colostrum or at least try to get the supply going due to my health conditions and possibility of baby arriving early, among other things.

To give you a bit of background on my choices, I have always wanted to breastfeed. Not only is it the best food for your baby, I feel it’s an empowering thing for me to do. It’s something I have had my heart set on from the very early days of baby planning. I have spent numerous hours and days on forums where women talk about their breasts feeling full or even leaking at 16 weeks! According to my research, this isn’t as uncommon as it may sound to some of you, many women leak colostrum early. Or at least feel their breasts filling up with milk. Me on the other hand? Nope, nothing. My breasts feel like two empty water cans. I pump, I drink special teas and even have lactation cookies! Nothing has helped so far. Do you know of something I could try? Please feel free to comment with your suggestions, not just for me but for everyone that might be interested.

Will I give up? Hell no! I might just be someone who starts producing milk post partum(I hope this is the case and not IGT or some other condition). 

Am I worried that my baby will be born with neonatal hypoglycaemia and that I won’t have any milk to raise her sugar levels? Yes, I am absolutely terrified of this happening. I am frightened at the thought of not producing enough or at all, to feed my precious little baby. I wish I didn’t have the health conditions I do, I wish my pregnancy was as perfect as those of my friends. Saying that, I am proud of coming as far as I have with everything that has been going on. I have managed to stay strong and keep going! With a smile 😊

I hope people don’t say to you what they have said to me so far, especially where I was told by a very close relative that I may not be able to breastfeed. This is from someone who knows how difficult it has been for me to get pregnant, my health conditions and my sensitivity to discouraging words. What they have said has not left my mind and has kept me awake through the nights for months, as it continues to do so.

I do hope to prove them wrong, I hope my milk comes in. The best thing I can do is keep trying to harvest colostrum as much as I can. If you are in a similar boat to me, don’t give up! Let’s virtually hold hands and do this together! We can and we will breastfeed our babies. We will try everything we can before making peace with whatever it is that stops us from doing what we want to do the most. ❤️

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